The Plagues of More

Lesson: Learning how love takes burdens before adding them

God, why? Why do you keep calling me to serve environments where people won’t help me; yet they continually tell me to reach out for help as they explain to me exactly how they think I’m not doing enough to earn or deserve the place I’ve aimed and desired to live at.

No one considers their words. No one considers their actions. No one considers their lack of action. I’m just not good enough for anyone.

When I used to be the “perfect Christian” lots of people looked up to, that wasn’t enough because most people can’t relate to perfection. And if you’re not like people and don’t fit in their circles, then you don’t matter.

Now that I’ve grown and learned to expose my weaknesses for the sake of the gospel, people still don’t see this “imperfect Christian” as good enough. He still doesn’t fit in anywhere, and although people may be able to relate to him now, they refuse to live out the things even they’ve taught him.

“Christians serve, but when you serve me, I will not serve you. Christians give, but when you give to me, I will not give back to you. I will not inconvenience myself for you, despite what my being devoted to such ignorance may make you think of me. You are worth no more than a few minutes of my time and a hopefully meaningful conversation (that probably could have been a meaningless text message), if that, but I will never place any tangible value on the fact that every sacrifice you make for me costs you time, costs you money, costs you sleep, and I will have the unmitigated gall to ask you for more as if you’re some boundless machine that never runs out of steam, and I will not pour into you or add anything to your life’s account that might be used to fuel your continuance.”

The Question…or Questions

How do you measure your nobility? Is it measured by your willingness to consider and hold an actionless conversation about someone else’s struggle in the midst of your own, or is it measured by your willingness to set aside your own struggles for the sake of helping carry someone else’s?

Are these posts of mine nothing more than rambling complaints and a refusal to accept the truth? Am I just a self-proclaimed victim? I asked myself this today. I think the answer to that question depends on your view of how life works.

If you believe this New Age, postmodern, Americanized notion that you get what you put out there and “the universe” responds to your voice and your efforts, then maybe I am a self-proclaimed victim. Maybe 50+ hours of work each week is not enough. Maybe a few hours of sleep each week is too much. Maybe 20+ hours of volunteering in ministry is not enough. Maybe budgeting is not enough. Maybe reaching out to the many people I’ve already reached out to for help isn’t enough.

Maybe I need to consult with you to figure out what God’s plan for my life really is because we know that when you accept and pursue God’s plan, everything lines up beautifully just like it did for the apostle, Paul, who was poor, imprisoned, and stoned for obeying God. Just like it did for the disciples who were all murdered for following Jesus. Just like it did for my precious savior, Jesus Christ himself who was and still is hated by many to the degree that left him beaten, battered, bruised, and executed via the most gruesome means of death known to man even till this day–so gruesome scripture records that he no longer looked human as he exercised his boundless perfection while hanging naked from a bloody cross crying out, “Father, hold your wrath and forgive these murderers, for they do not know what they have and still are doing” (Luke 23:34).

Am I just a self-proclaimed victim? It depends on how you define love. If love is easy, never going further than a little mild difficulty; if love was not so tragically difficult and contrary to any human’s natural inclinations that God had to fill both the religious law AND the new covenant of grace with commands to love and a depiction from God himself of just how boundless real love is; if love does not blatantly go against the stupefied advice of our current society to look after yourself first and contrarily demand that you put God above all, others first, and yourself last (kind of like the Jesus guy we’re called to follow), then maybe, just maybe, I’m a self-proclaimed victim, and my call to live differently has no validity to it. What makes me question that notion is the fact that this is not my norm either; rather, it is a shift God’s called me to as I studied his word, learned in church, and failed to care for others well and was actually called out for it.

Yeah, we talk about faith
And we talk about loving you
God we mention your name
How we should praise you in all we do
But what does that mean?
What is true Christianity?
Cause the ones we hear preach
Are in the same boat as you and me
Yet we get so condemned
And people wonder why we don’t believe
They tell us that God can’t stand our ways
But he’s cool when they sin then praise
And I tried church long ago
They have better actors at an off-off-Broadway show
If this is how God is portrayed
Then why preach to the community? They ain’t gettin saved

– “Christianity vs Religion” by Christian Sanders

The BS Notion of War

Keep fighting. Do more. Work more. Serve more. Give more. Think more. More. More. More. More. This is what I’m calling the BS Notion of War.

The other day, I received a text message from my brother that read: “I lost faith. It’s gone.” He posted on social media telling everyone he’s giving up on his dreams because 2019 has been too difficult, and this isn’t for him.

I almost broke down wondering what I should tell him because I feel the exact same way, and I don’t believe in sending people hypocritical messages of misplaced or incomplete hope.

The problem is this, too many people force a disingenuine frown upon their face, lie in the name of Jesus and tell you you’re not in this alone, explain why they’re not going to help you or just completely ignore the fact that they can help you, and place an even heavier burden on you as they tell you to reach out if you ever “need anything.”

This is the means of help most Christians and most churches give, and it’s so dumbly thought out (or not thought out at all) that it crosses the boundaries of utter hatred. You don’t care about me. You only care about the formalities necessary to say you’ve “selflessly and Christianly” done your job. I’m suffering. My family is suffering. We have nothing. And despite all that I’ve done to serve coworkers, friends, family, strangers, and my church, no one is selfless enough to share my burdens. Not without urging me to neglect my responsibilities, pursue their plan for my life (since it’s news to me that God apparently gives them the inside scoop on what he desires for me to do with my life), and prioritize their systems even more than I already have.

The Plagues of More

There’s a few plagues that wound people who have been forced to fight beyond their ability–for those who have been told to neglect all wisdom, shrug their shoulders at their physical and mental health, and fight in their weakest moments of brutal abuse. Those plagues are PTSD and depression.

We should feel very accomplished because our unhealthy habits have made history. Statistically, we have the most depressed society to ever grace this earth. Our soldiers come home crazy until their families are split apart, our teenagers are killing themselves (many times after killing everyone else in their schools), and our young adults are taking enough antidepressants to fill the dang Pacific Ocean. All because we’re stupid enough to believe that the pinnacle of our goodness and spirituality is in being strong.

Excuse me, but I’ve read my Bible, and I’m pretty sure Christ was infinitely strong so I don’t have to be. I’m pretty sure he defied all political AND religious SYSTEMS so I can prioritize him more than even his own institutions. The first-century church in Acts didn’t have all of our fancy systems; nonetheless, they cared for people better than our glory-seeking society ever will.

My hope for this post is simple: that whoever reads this will be successfully urged to selflessly, lovingly and biblically care for those around them in ways that counteract the norms of society — even Christian society. Asking people who have reached an inexplicably low point of strengthless depression to do more than they’ve already consistently been doing for years is declaring your unwillingness to look beyond yourself and whatever systems you are a part of and simply care enough to help them. If someone struggles deeply with depression and they are enduring mountainous difficulty, by the time they realize they need help, they are likely too weak to seek it. Why don’t you reach out first? Why don’t you carry the inconvenience they’ve carried for so many others and actually get to know them in ways that allow you to understand when they need you to reach out? Why don’t you stop using the word “I” when bowing out since all that does is reveal how deeply your concern for yourself trump’s your concern for others.

Loving God so much that we are compelled to love people like Christ calls us to love them is hard. It lead many of our biblical writers to death. But it is the mission — it is the mission that will change the world. If you have not found yourself severely inconvenienced to step outside your agenda, your problems and your concern for self lately, then maybe you ought to question how well you love.