Are You Really What You See?

Lesson: Learning to Call Out Hypocrisy (In Self and Others)

From the Hypocrite

I’ll start by admitting that I’m not being as “unapologetic” as I could be. I chose to cut out the first couple sentences of this post. I’m working toward vulnerability, but I’m not completely there yet.

The Ironic Truth

Oddly enough, what I’ve learned recently is that I can say whatever I want publicly and be as raw as I want to be because people don’t care enough to ask questions. Anything beyond mere existence and appeasement is not why I exist in their world.

I’ve realize as an artist that if people choose to see anything, they’ll see the art, but they’ll never see you. And that’s painful. 

To the Hypocrite

I’ve admitted to deep, dark struggles and brokenness. I’ve addressed those who call me friend with no inclination to actually be one. I’ve challenged people’s absence when they claim to love.

But so-called “friends” and colleagues who claim to care are not moved. People don’t change when you only matter to appease the menial purpose for which you exist in their lives. They’re comfortable. They feel no conviction to love. No conviction to humanize. 

I know people who call me friend but barely acknowledge my presence in a room. People who call me friend but interaction only exists when they need or want something from me. 

I long for the day

When the winds and the waves

Somehow get tamed

When your child calls out your name

I’m so overwhelmed

But when I cry out for some help

I’m told I’m loved and not by myself

As they turn to someone else

“Untitled” by Christian Sanders

Unreciprocated Sacrifice

Today, my pastor preached on love. He made some of the same statements I’ve made and quoted some of the same scriptures. 

It reminded me of my former pastor back home where I grew up. He said the best advice he’d received from his pastor was to remember that no matter what you do or how hard you preach, at the end of the day, people are gonna do whatever they want to do. 

It reminded me of a very negative but real worldview I hold — that most people don’t learn, grow, or change. 

It reminded me of the heaviness that comes with the way I want to spend the rest of my life. Pouring into a humanity (and even a Christian people-group) that, by and large, doesn’t change in dear hopes of, like Paul said, saving some (1 Corinthians 9:22).

Real, Sensed Love

Most committed Christians live their lives with an unwavering commitment to entertaining Christianity. They only actively love and check in on the people who entertain them — or maybe better said, the people who make their heart come alive usually because of some fun or joyful sense of natural camaraderie. 

Years ago, when I was studying 2 Peter 1:3-8 (which I’ve mentioned in a previous post), when Peter challenged the church to be affectionate toward one another and to pair their love with affection, God gave me these challenging words, “Don’t put on a show, and don’t act solely from a place of obligation or a place of adventure where you are simply enamored by an experience with someone.” Real Christianity, the love-led, inconvenient kind, means more than that. 

Paul intentionally loved the other. Those who weren’t like him. He loved so deeply that he claimed to be a slave to everyone (verse 19). What verbiage! He loved so deeply that he chose to learn about the depths of people and what drives them and to intentionally relate to them (verse 20-21). He loved so deeply that he chose to resonate with the plight of those around him even if it meant sacrifice, weakness, or vulnerability (verse 22). 

That’s what I long for when I say I want love. When I say I want a real friend. Someone whose name could pop up on my phone without surprising me — maybe with a “Hey, I just want to check in,” or a “Hey, I know Mother’s Day is coming up. How are you feeling?,” or simply a “Let’s hang! I miss you.” 

But until the weekend ends, and you need something from me again, it’s been real 

Unapologetically Christian.