About Mom. Pt. 2

Today my world got a lot darker. The woman I’ve been in love with since before I could even open my eyes and see her is now gone.

She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. She knew me. Like no one else does. Like no one else ever has.

She loved God more than anything, and she taught her 3 children to love him too. She always served God’s church–singing, counseling, teaching, making people feel special on birthdays, showing young people that they mattered.

I know there are no perfect people, but she was close. As close as you can get. She did nothing but love. Love, motivate, encourage, spread joy that she could muster out of nothing.

She was my world. I’ve always been a momma’s boy. And proud of it. Just yesterday, I reached for my phone to call her with some news I know she’d be proud of me for. I’d do anything to make her proud. Then I realized she couldn’t take my call. And this morning I found out that I’ll never be able to call my mom again.

I know I’ll manage just fine. I’m strong because of her. I know a God who’s even stronger…because of her.

But goodness, I’ll miss her. I already do. She’s been the one constant in my life. I’ll miss hearing those heart-warming words, “I love you son.” That alone was enough to make me feel like I’d be okay when my world was falling apart. Because I felt honored to be the son of a queen. I’ll miss hearing her pray for me and remind God of a truth that brought me to tears as she’d share my pains and my burdens, “God, you love Christian more than I do.” I’ll miss her wisdom. Her crazy discernment. Her calm, soothing voice and her peaceful presence. God, I’ll miss her.

But despite missing her, I have to say that I’m proud. Even though I’m in pain like never before, I’m ok with God’s will. And that makes me proud of myself because I realize that I am the man my mother raised me to be. I value God and his will just like she taught me.

My vow is to continue her legacy come hell or high water until my body hits the grave. This next season in my life is all about accomplishing the things God’s called me to accomplish because my mother’s greatest desire for her children was to love God and live for him. And if anyone in this world deserves to be in the presence of the King in a place with no more pain, disappointment, or cancer, my mother deserves it.

God, thank you for healing my mom, and thank you for allowing me to be raised by the most amazing woman this world has ever seen. My mother was a dang good woman, and you’re a good God.